Guide Wired Hard: Erotica for a Gay Universe

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Virtually none of us wanted to be gay when we first became aware of our feelings. In perspective, Mother Nature plays far dirtier tricks on human beings than mere homosexuality and its closely associated gender-nonconformity. My stance is that only part of it is a choice, a perfectly controllable one, wanting to experiment, some people, who are actually bisexual might want to embrace their gay side, without losing the capability of being attracted by their opposite sex.

Tommy Lanster I hope you read this, I just want you to know I really love you, like legit major major love. God bless you Tommy and I hope you live a great and fulfilling life. Remain a good human that you are, ignore the hate and allow yourself love and be loved. Your story is a farce.

The Velderet

Then how, pray tell, did you find out what gay means? There are 20 other features you could find attractive about a woman besides her breasts. Ever heard of an ass man? I comb the internet from time to time for rock hard evidence of provable biological similarities between homosexuals so that I never have to ask myself this question again and there has not been one conducive study yet.

Jane, would you be jealous if I told you I have met and even been hugged by Javier Bardem! I relate strongly to both your attraction for him, which I share, and with what you say in this article. I particularly like the part about hairy armpits. Someday, some way hon! I suspect it would be helpful if we could hustle up some gigs to help pay our way! Seriously though, this essay is VERY useful and important. You might want to look at the conversation about it on Facebook.

Is there not a middle ground here?

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I am a woman who had my first crush on a girl when I was six — I find it hard to believe that part of me was not somewhat predisposed to be more much more!! I do however choose not to live a lie — that is certainly a choice. Nurture or nature? Romantic crushes before the start of puberty seem like a strong indication of the social construction of sexuality to me even though I believe post-pubescent sexuality is a complex interplay of social construction and biological factors. As I said in my last reply, above, I was raised far outside of the norm in terms of the social construction of sexuality i.

I grew up thinking being gay was totally normal, but I never had a crush on or felt attracted to a male — even when I believed that sexual orientation was a purely social construct! Your comment brought up some memories of mine as a kid. I remember when I was 6, I really liked a girl, whether it was romantic or not, I am unsure, but I was so fascinated by her, I wanted to be next to her and was jealous a boy was close to her!

Sometime after, I started liking boys, but I remember very well that when I was 17, I fell for a girl. I remember always wanting to be with a woman, but not forgetting men too. As a matter of fact, up until a year ago, I was completely turned off by the sight of men in porn, and turned on by women. I am very into men. I am dating a guy and I love him. I can never imagine myself with a woman.

All those thoughts of women turns me off…completely. There was just a time within the past 2 years when I told myself II am straight, and eventually it stuck. Thinking back, the times I was attracted to women were me deciding to do so — consciously and subconsciously, The same time I fell for that one girl so hard, was the following months after having my lesbian friend stay at my place for 2 months, and it was her carefree, strong, feminist approach to life that intrigued me.

Additionally, her father cheated on her mum too. She said that lead to her decision. My closest gay friend, whom is a self proclaimed gay with a boyfriend and a ton of ex boyfriends, admitted that he has been attracted to girls, he was attracted to me and brought me out on a date, but after finding out I had a guy I liked at the time, became my bff instead. This is the kind of detail that helps enrich one of the meanings of choice: an unconscious process that is different for each person.


Wired Hard: Erotica for a Gay Universe

Heterosexuals make these choices, too, but usually with far less articulation and self-knowledge. Our culture requires little of them in that department. They take themselves for granted. Out of all of the comments, I like the honesty in your testimony the best. Ibcan feel it. At the end of the day we are the sum total of our thought. Everything manifest itself in the mental realm and I do agree that sexual orientation is a choice and NOT a genetic or biological factor.

I actually have not ever met a soul that is not heterosexual that does not have some sort of story whether conscious or not that has led to their orientation of choice. I was molested as a child by 1. A grown woman baby sitter and 2. Her 2 teenage sons. The molestation by the sons left a more vivid mark on my psyche due to the fact of the penetration, both oral and anal as well as the fact that it happened on a constant basis.

I was only 6 years old at the time. Prior to that I knew nothing of sex whatsoever and do not have any recollection of having any sexual attraction to either male or female. Perhaps at the time, since I did not know any better, I thought that was how it was supposed to be and that lead me to be attracted to men.

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Who knows? We all feel what we feel. Just think about the things you say and how they might affect others negatively. I agree with Mike.

How understanding erotic identity can save couples.

I think the problem is that if something makes sense to us, we automatically assume it is right. In this way, our unique thought patterns create self-consistent confirmations of how the world works; when actually, it is just how the world works for us, but certainly not for everyone else.

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  • Lump onto this the problem that far greater minds than yours, indeed the brightest minds in the history of humanity, struggled their entire lives to uncover only a fraction of a fraction of how nature really works, as well as the fact that your degree is probably in something completely unrelated to the topic ie. I think had you used this filter, you would have been more cautious about making a huge leap in your judgment to tell your friend that he is ridiculous for believing his homosexuality were caused by molestation as a child.

    Trying to coerce him into your own way of thinking is just as likely to do more harm than good. I found the article itself really interesting. The comparison of our groping for causes of homosexuality, or latching onto false positives, to the science of the s that attempted to justify racial prejudices using physical differences really hammered the point home for me. I will be more careful in the future of blindly accepting the argument currently backed by the lgbt community. However, I do believe that if we are to continue making progress for equality, the simple and understood argument proposed by the lgbt community is just much easier to accept, even if it were wrong.

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    But this is just my opinion, for the sake of the discussion here. Mike, being molested might make one enjoy anal sex conditional, because in many cases i think this would definitely put someone off it, associating it to such experience , but not making you like males instead of women. I believe sexual orientation is not divided neatly between heterosexuality and homosexuality but into infinite shades in between therefore some people feel its sexual orientation a lot stronger than others.

    It is impossible to choose who you will fall for, sexually or emotionally, that just happens, what you can choose sometimes is if you want to pursue it. This is rather straightforward and easy tu understand when we talk about individuals, it becomes a whole lot of a mess when it has to be argued as a population strategy. LGBT groups shoot themselves in the foot and lose legitimacy when they argue the contrary. While I share your assertion that there is no necessary political or moral conclusions one can infer from a biological account of the origins of sexual orientation s , I do find your review of the scientific literature on this topic cursory, selective and mostly mean-spirited.

    Your analysis leaves little room for reasonable and progressive people to disagree with one another. It is possible, and increasingly common, for scientists to resist both heterosexism and misogyny when it emerges in scientific understandings of gender and sexuality.

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    I once thought about these matters in ways quite similar to you, but my engagement with feminist-inspired scientists, people like Sandra Hrdy, Marlene Zuk, Joan Roughgarden, and Helen Fisher transformed my thinking and enabled me to see that evolutionary and biological accounts of sexual identities and orientations could indeed fit with liberation politics and that my understandings of biology and genetics and neurology were simply out-of-date and disconnected from the contemporary debates within these scientific efforts.

    Excellent reply. When the political consequences of badly done, and thus misleading science are seen clearly, they can make many of us angry, frustrated and impatient, given the privileging given to apparent science. That is not mean; it is human. The work of Jordan-Young is excellent. Chris, I may have found your answer that you search for.

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    You typed in your paragraph. See how easy it is to be persuaded? Nobody truly knows anything. We are born knowing nothing.